Funemployment we meet again.

I’m 26 years old and since the age of 16 I’ve never been without a job for longer than 2 weeks. To be honest, I’m grateful for 10 continuous years of working (and sometimes working full time + simultaneous going to school full time). To be even more honest, I might be just as lost as I was at 16..

We all have reasons why we followed the paths that we ended up on. Sometimes the reasons are external sometimes the reasons are self-made – but we all have a story.

Right now from where I’m standing, I see a person who’s been pushed into a ditch, got out, pushed in again, got out, pushed in again, GOT OUT … and never fully realized how far she’s actually made it from the ditch.

A week ago today I got laid off from my job, and honestly I couldn’t be more happy. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest and I can finally breathe, I can finally think. I’ve had blinders on for the past few years, and I’ve been pulling endless excuses and justifications out of my pocket like a goddamn magician. Even with all the job changes, promotions and lateral moves I’ve made it’s always felt like “two steps forward and one step back” and I’m finally noticing why. These steps “forward” haven’t fully been for me, in many cases they’ve been what I’d find easiest to explain to my friends and family. Making decisions based around making others less uncomfortable is a great way to push yourself to a point where you’re literally crawling out of your skin.

And so here’s to finally ending that cycle.

2017 has been a hell of a year, I’m finally learning to tell the voices in my head to shut the fuck up (took long enough!).